Monster who was almost caught by a bunch of undergraduates doing... whatever it is that undergraduates do

Monster who has come to terms with it. This is how they live now.

Monster who isn't sure if you're insulting their intelligence on purpose, or if they're grossly overestimating yours...

Monster who isn't being sarcastic, they just have nothing but contempt for you

Monster who... Oh, you want them to do this thing? The thing that's absolutely beneath them? That thing? Fine. They will do it. Very. Very. Slowly. No, slower than that. Have we learned our lesson yet, or do we need to keep repeating the same mistakes?

This monster could go far — and they should. As far away as possible.

Monster who has appeared in your nightmares, and has a message for you.

Oh you're talking about tide pods? This monster remembers them well. So much fun! All of the old gang together, in the pool, a whole vibrant ecosystem. Alas, they outgrew them, and didn't really keep in touch. What? Why are you looking at them like that?

Monster who has poison in their veins

Good news! This monster doesn't have allergies! They actually have an undiagnosed neurological condition. Oh.