Monster who's just a little guy
Monster who's finally getting through that darn puberty, after so many years. Oh, wait, no, false alarm. Darn it.
Monster who does not want uppies. They don't. But they could use a hand. Please?
Monster who is old enough to drink. No, you don't need to see their identification. They can go about their business.
Surprise! Did you fall for it? This monster is very much alive after all!